Posts Tagged ‘Dead Space’

Dead Space: Extraction Phase I: Planning

January 9, 2010

EA product planning and development meeting, circa 2007…

Grey Hair Man: “… and next on the agenda, our future output on the Nintendo Wii.  Blue Shirt Man, put your coat back on and give us an informal overview here.”

Blue Shirt Man: “As you can see from my chart here, Wii console sales are going through the roof. My analysis is that we should create a hit game (shown by the red arrow) and make a lot of money.”

Grey Hair Man: “Your strategy presentation has clarified many of the issues for me. I think we are all agreed that we should make a Wii game, have it be a hit, and then make a lot of money.”

All: “Agreed!”

Grey Hair Man: “Therefore we need only decide what kind of game to make. What do we know of the audience on Wii? Brain Ache Man, your thoughts?”

"If I push this pen into my brain, would it disrupt the pain receptors currently plaguing my consciousness?Brain Ache Man: “It is clear at this point in the console lifecycle that the Wii audience is like a new lifeform on Star Trek. We do not know what it is, what it wants, or whether it is hostile. Usually, this fact would call for some market research or scanning with a tricorder, but my gut instinct suggests against this course of action. We should play it safe to make a hit game for such alien life forms.”

Grey Hair Man: “Thank you for your thoughtful contribution. Does anyone have anything else to add?”

Lady Man: “My sister bought a Wii by accident, thinking it was a toaster. We should make our game cover art resemble a low quality ’30s pulp SF magazine so she does not buy our game accidentally, thinking it is white bread.”

Grey Hair Man: “This is high calibre work, team. Taking on board the feedback from both of you, I think our next Wii game should use an existing IP to introduce it to these alien customers, and feature ugly, low quality boxart to prevent Lady Man’s sister’s confusion, which is sure to be widespread.”